January Facebook Updates

Jan 1, 2012 -
Funniest quote of the weekend...As I was packing up Christmas decorations (specifically the nativity set), the 3 year old wails, "what are you doing?!! You're taking away my Jeeesus!!"

Jan 14, 2012 -
My 3 year old is keeping up with the boys at the playground. In a tutu, no less.

Jan 16, 2012-
Well peel me off the floor...we are having another girl!

Jan 24, 2012-
okay...raise your hand if my 3 year old called you on my phone last night? So far, I've THREE family members she answered calls or called herself.

Jan 31, 2012-
note to self: must start wearing apron when cooking - pregnant bellies really do catch all.

Status Update Silliness

Some favorite status updates from my Facebook account this fall....

Oct 11th - last night I tucked Gracie into bed, closed the door, then heard her shadow puppets barking at, and shushing, each other.

Oct 14th - OH the mischief a 3 year old can cause...
MONDAY: jar of Vaseline smeared on the carpet, door, wall.
TUES: toilet stuffed with WAY too much TP, then flushed and over-flowed.
WED: streaking the neighborhood.
THURS: tracking mud through the entire house in less than 30 seconds.
FRIDAY: New roll of TP mysteriously disappears - then found, unrolled and stashed in my suitcase.

Oct 4th - Jonah asked me for some "kid crack" last night. I had no clue what he was talking about. After a few questions, we came to realize that he had misunderstood - the candy Daddy brought home from work was KIT KATS.

Sept 15th - I just got a high five from my 3 year old. For feeding her bacon!

Toddler Slang: Gracie

Some of my favorites toddlerisms from Gracie this summer...

I want to snap duh lizzard
Translation: I want to cut with scissors

Duh nilluh
Translation: Vanilla Almond Milk

I want to cuddle your tummy
Translation: Please move your laptop computer, so I can cuddle on your lap

chicken little soup
Translation: chicken noodle soup

While getting dressed for church...

Me: Gracie, let's get you some bloomers.
Gracie: Oh-kaaaay.
Me: Which ones do you want to wear? These white ones or the pink ones?
Gracie: Mmmm....pink!
Me: Good idea! Let's put on the bloomers.
Gracie: Ummm....Mama. Deez are not bloomers, DEEZ are pinkmers.

Gabbin' with Gracie: Part 2

Gracie is talking a lot this week. Something happened in her sleep Sunday night that allowed her to wake up Monday forming perfectly understandable sentences. I've had a blast listening to what she has to say!

Gracie: *sneezes a huge booger out of her nose. Totally grossed-out, she wipes it on MY shirt as fast as possible*
Me: *remove the booger with a tissue and throw in the trash*
Gracie: *a few minutes later, searching my shirt*, "HEY! Where'd my boober go?!! You take-ah my boober?!"

Gracie: *petting Dixie while snuggling on the couch*, "Awwww, Dixie. You so pwehcious."

At the grocery store yesterday, Gracie was galluping up and down the aisle singing a made up tune. When I picked up a rotisserie chicken (which she loves) and placed it in the shopping cart, she suddenly started galluping in circles around the cart, and the words to her song changed to, "kichen pwease, kichen pwease".

We got a hand-me-down nightgown with a Disney Princess theme. I pulled it out last night for Gracie to wear. "OHHHH!", she gasps, "it's so beautful! My Cinabella dwess! You dance wif me, Mama?"

Anytime I'm on the phone, she asks to, "say hello, Daddy?" (Doesn't matter who's on the other end.)

Some of my other favorite pronunciations:
Rapunzel: my-punzel
Sleeping Beauty: Sleeping Cutie
Finger: singer (As in, "oh no! She hurt mah singer!)

Here's a cute little moment I captured on video. Gracie was "reading" the Usborne, Touchy Feely ABC Book (a favorite)...

According to Jonah, Part 31

*conversation between Michael and Jonah*

M: How was your playdate with Donovan?
J: Good!
M: What did ya'll do?
J: Um. We played cars, 'an trains....'an YOU!
M: What? You? Do you mean Wii?
J: Yeah! Wii!

Gabbin' with Gracie, Part 1

While Jonah grows out of his toddler slang, Gracie is growing into it. And OWNING it.
I've got to write them down before I forget.

Blinkah Beh
Translation: Tinkerbell

Happies
Translation: Help please

Uppies
Translation: Up please

I lud dyoo, Bubbas
Translation: I love you, brother

Beh BAH! Beh BAH! OHHHHHH!
Translation: Sponge Bob! Sponge Bob! *starting to sing the title song*
(I'll probably regret sharing that. Maybe I should delete.)

According to Jonah, Part 30

Me: Buddy, please do your best to stay in bed tonight. It would make Mama so happy.
Jonah: Dat's jes not my style.

----------

Jonah: Mama, Cassie is my girlfriend again!
Me: Oh, yeah?
Jonah: Actually, I have 2 girlfriends now.
Me: Two?! What are their names?
Jonah: Um. I jes' can't think of dem right now. It's a long story.

According to Jonah, Part 23

Recent Quotes...

In regards to an ottoman that he stained, "ah, man! That was my favorite furni-chair!"

Answering Grandpa's question about the whereabouts of In-N-Out Burger,
"I don' know where da Internet Burgers is".

Recent Quirks...

"Ta-Da" - a word used in place of "whatever".

"Oh, Barnacles!" - the latest exclamation of frustration.

"Hot Lava" - used to describe anything that's shiny.

I'm starting to see more sensory quirks emerge (very common in our family). For example,
-he hates to kiss on the lips. You can kiss him all day long on the cheek or forehead or tummy, but he really gets the heebs about kissing on the lips.
-he needs multiple covers at night (a heavy sensation) before he can relax and fall asleep.
-a twisted seat-belt in the car will send him through the roof.
-yesterday was "Backwards Day" at school. We tried. For about 1 minute. The feeling of backwards shorts and shirt was just too much for the kid. He stood there in his backwards clothes, visibly TRYING to cope, then collapsed on the floor in tears.

According to Jonah, Part II

This morning, Jonah leaned over until he was looking straight in Gracie's eyes. "Gracie," he said, "this is a NOT-taking-stuff day."


(Before typing out this next bit, I have to explain...in Cheesemyhead Land, lost balloons float to China. Because Charlie & Lola on the Disney channel said so.)

J: Mama, is God way up high in da sky?
Me: Well, God doesn't have a body like us. He can be everywhere at the same time.
J (after some silence): So He's invisible.
Me: Yep.
J: No. I phink He's up in outer space. He goes up high, high, high, all da way in China.


When he got home from pre-school the other day, Jonah noticed some tracks left by the vacuum cleaner in his bedroom.
J: Oh, Mama! Phank you! It looks wonderful! And vacuumy!

How to make your child CRAZY

These are things I will remember about Jonah at 4 1/2 years old...

Favorite toys:

• Hotwheels (still!)

Favorite TV shows:

• Phineus & Ferb
• Peep
• Sponge Bob (not Mama's favorite. At all.)
  

Favorite Songs:

• anything he's made up himself

Favorite Books:

• Good Boy, Fergus by David Shannon
  
• Pigeon Books by Mo Willems (hilarious!)
  

Best Friends:

• K.C. (the very same K.C. he loved to hate LAST year)
• Lester and our pals from playgroup

Newest love/hate friend:

• Christian (who apparently teaches Jonah all the bad words he knows)
  

Newest fascinations:

• super heroes
  
• break dancing (specifically spinning on his head)
• new toys. Anything new, actually. We're really focusing on teaching him the difference between a "want" and a "need". It's a hard lesson!

Extra goodies...

The other night, after we had tucked him into bed, Jonah came out of his room asking for a "tennis shoe".
"Why do you need a tennis shoe?" I asked. "You're supposed to be sleeping."
"A tennisssss shoooooeeee, Mama! I needa blow my nose!"

To the cute teenage girl at Target: "I work out wif kettle bells. See?" Grunting and flexing (in the tuna fish aisle), "I'm four."

Jonah: Can I have some more Cheetos, please?
Me: Finish your apples first.
Jonah: But I 'jes LOOOOOOVE Cheetos!
Me: I know, Buddy, but Cheetos don't have anything in them that's good for you. Chicken nuggets have protein that makes your muscles strong, and apples have good vitamins to keep you from getting sick. Cheetos don't do anything.
Jonah: Yes dey dooooo! Dey make me CRAAAAZZY!

Jonah, at Lowe's, while handing a paint chip to the cashier: "Here. Here's my card."

Speechless

This morning, Jonah woke up with laryngitis.

My son, whom many identify by his VOLUME, has been reduced to a pathetic croaking.

He is devastated.

At one point he wailed, "I sound like a stupid garage doooooooooor".

How do you not feel sorry for the kid?

Lost in Translation

Jonah: Why's der a man on dat sign?
Michael: So people who can't read still know what bathroom to use. It's for illiterate people, like you.
Jonah: I can litter! I am goooooooood at litterin'.

Toddler Slang Remnants

"ArizoNUT"
Translation: Arizona (We've had MULTIPLE arguments about the pronunciation of this word, and Jonah insists that the state we live in is a NUT.)

"handba-tizer"
Translation: hand sanitizer (I think it's a cross between sanitize and baptize.)

"Caphaleen"
Translation: caffeine
Used in a sentence: "Mama, I LOOOOOOOOVE caphaleen. Can I have a sip of your Dopper Pepper?"

This morning in our living room...
Jonah: LOOK! Mama! A cricket! He came inside to see me and Dixie and Lucy!
Mama: He came in for a visit?
Jonah: Yeah!
*tilting head and talking directly to cricket*
Hi cricket! Crick, crickee, cricka, cricket? Crickeee, cricka? Cricka, cricka, crickeeeee!
*turning to me*
That's how you speak cricket, Mama.

Ba-dum Tish

Me: Jonah, you want to do your hair before you go to school?
Jonah: Yes.
Me: How are you going to do it?
Jonah: Um. I use da comb, an you put some of that stuff in it so it sticks up.
Me: The hair gel?
Jonah: Yes.
*I spray water in his hair, he combs the front straight up, I put some gel in it to help it stay*
Me: That looks nice. I like your new hair-do, bud.
Jonah: Um. We already did it, Mama. It's a hair-did.

Let's Talk

On the way to school the other day, I slapped a mosquito off my arm. When I looked up, Jonah was wide-eyed and curious. Later that day...

Jonah: Oooh! *slap* Oh! *slap, slap* Ouch! *more dramatic slapping*
Me: Buddy, what's wrong?
Jonah: Toquitos are bitin' me!

-----------

While driving to pick up Gracie's birthday cake...

Me: Jonah, let's use our soft voices. We don't want to teach Gracie to be loud, do we?
Jonah: I NOT LOUD!!!! I'm zuberant.

-----------

While watching Storm Chasers on Discovery channel...

Jonah: Mama what's a po-taymo?
Me: A tornado? It's what happens when hot air and cold air crash together and make strong storms. The hot air and cold air turn in circles and make the tornado. It's really fast wind spinning around.
Jonah: Why'sit suckin' phings up, that po-mado?
Me: The tornado? I don't think it's really sucking things up. The wind is just really strong, so the trees are getting pushed over and then thrown around.
Jonah: Tomato?
Me: Tornado
Jonah: Tormato
Me: Torn-ado
Jonah: yeah

-------------

After reading about Jesus in our Bible Storybook...

Jonah: Will Daddy have to go on a cross?
Me: No, Buddy. Daddy, and Mama, and Jonah...all of us, are saved from the cross because Jesus did it for us.
Jonah: An' Daddy wears dat cross to keep the power goin'
Me: Daddy wears that cross to remind him what Jesus did for us
Jonah: An' the cross keeps the power goin' so the TV can work

habla espanol?

This afternoon, Jonah told me he was "starve". He kept rubbing his tummy so I said, "you're starving?". "Yeah", he said, "I'm starve means I'm really, really hungry, in Spanish."

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Today, a regular trip to run errands yielded the deepest conversation I've ever had with Jonah.

We stopped at Kohls to get some play clothes for the kids and Jonah ended up sitting on a bench with an elderly man, who had a walking cane. Jonah later found the head of a clothes hanger laying on the floor and decided it was the perfect walking cane for his little stuffed puppy (who came with us to Kohls). Jonah told me "puppy has sore knees".

In the car, as we were leaving the parking lot, I remembered how I've been wanting to take the kids to a local nursing home. Just to let them visit and smile at some of the residents, and maybe take flowers to hand out, or something like that. The walking cane gave me a perfect chance to find out how Jonah would feel about being around the elderly. The conversation went a bit like this...

------

Mama: Hey Jonah, do you remember visiting Dubbie in the nursing home?

Jonah: Yeah. Is Dubbie still der?!

Mama: No, buddy. Dubbie went home with Jesus. He's in heaven now.

Jonah: Oh nooooo! You mean we can't see Dubbie ANYMORE?!

Mama: No, we can't see him, but Dubbie's very happy with Jesus. He's not sick anymore and he gets to play and have fun all day. Do you think he's happy?

Jonah: Yeah. But maybe we will miss him. Dat makes me really SAD! Is Nannie at da nursin' home?

Mama: No, buddy. Nannie's at her house in Texas.

Jonah: Mmmkay. Dat's good. Can we go to da nursin' home?

Mama: In Texas? No. That's too far away right now. But there are some nursing homes here in our town we could go to. Maybe we could go visit some people there and cheer them up. You could make them smile.

Jonah: Let's go!!! I want to go to da nursin' home right now!!! I'll tell 'em my name is Jonah!

-------

I think I have my answer to the nursing home question! I was amazed at how Jonah steered the conversation right where I needed to go and then showed 100% enthusiasm at the prospect of visiting.

About 2 minutes of silence passed after that conversation, and then Jonah asked me if Jesus was is in his heart. I know he was wondering if Jesus was in heaven with Dubbie, how could he be in somebody's heart too. I told him, if he asked Jesus to be in his heart, then Jesus was in his heart. He asked me, "what does Jesus do in there?", and I said, he makes you all clean and helps you when you ask him to. He then said, "My stomach is dirty. I ate too many blackberries. Can Jesus clean that too?"

More Toddler Talk

Jonah keeps cracking me up with his toddler slang. Here's a few more conversations I don't want to forget...

Conversation with Meemaw:

Jonah: K.C. says potty words at school, an' he gets in trouble.
Meemaw: Do you say potty words, Jonah?
Jonah: No. I jes pick my nose.

Conversation with Dalton (a friend from playgroup) while they played "house":

Jonah: Dalton, you wanna go to Trader Joe's wif me?
Dalton: Um. No, I fink I wanna go to Starbucks.

Note from Becky: Can't tell where their Moms hang out, can ya?

Conversation with Mama:

Jonah: Mama, you please wind up the TV?
Mama: What, Jonah? Wind up the TV?
Jonah: Yes, please.
Mama: I can't wind the TV up. What are you asking for?
Jonah: I jes want to watch Roary the Racin' Car again.
Mama: You mean, you want me to REWIND the TV?
Jonah: Yes! Please.

who what where when why how

Jonah is getting exceptionally good at asking questions. His curiosity often extends FAR beyond my area of expertise. I mean, I know nothing about gas meters. The constant asking of "why" can be overwhelming at times, but for the most part, his questions fascinate me.

Some of our conversations this week have seriously cracked me up because it's obvious there's a a little something lost in translation.

Conversation #1:
Jonah: Mama, I got somethin' sticky on my arm!!! An' it smells BLECK! What is it?!?!?!
Mama: Let me sniff it.....Jonah, that's teriyaki sauce. Did you touch the bag on the kitchen counter?
Jonah: YEEESSSS. OOOOOAAAH! Why is it yucky sauce?!?!!!!!!
Mama: Not yucky sauce, baby. TeriYAKI sauce.

Conversation #2:
We went to Lester's birthday party at the White Tank Regional Park last Saturday. On the way home from the party, Jonah and I had a 15 minute conversation about why mountain lions and coyotes need to stay in the park. The main reason being, so Lucy and Dixie (our dogs) will not get eaten. Jonah decided that Dixie would lose in a fight with a mountain lion, and Lucy would win since she is big and has thick fur.

Sunday morning on the way to church, Jonah randomly started telling Daddy about how Lucy would win in a fight against power lines. I wonder if the whole time we were discussing mountains lions he was picturing Lucy in a fight with a power line?!

Conversation #3:
I decided to have a fire safety day at the house. Jonah and I discussed, then practiced, all the things Mikey does here. Finally, I began to walk him to each of the smoke alarms to help me test the batteries. Jonah flipped out before I could press the first button. I mean, full on tears and panic. After I calmed him down, I realized that he firmly believed that pressing that button would MAKE smoke and fire.

Conversation #4:
Jonah told me his throat was hurting last night. I asked him if it was scratchy, or if it was stinging. He swallowed, and then thought before saying, "it feels like I ate too much food an' it's stuck in my phroat under my cheek." I felt his neck, and sure enough, one of his tonsils was swollen!